


the tsukkomi has 99 problems and the fourth wall ain't one

by Yuno



Category: Gintama
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Shenanigans, Yorozuya Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 06:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15137114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuno/pseuds/Yuno
Summary: While the Yorozuya are on their way to a new job, Shinpachi becomes the butt of another joke. What else is new?





	the tsukkomi has 99 problems and the fourth wall ain't one

**Author's Note:**

> Found my old hard drive and decided to upload one of the Gintama drabbles on it. Enjoy!!

“Gin-san, what exactly does this job entail?”

Gintoki waved a hand in dismissal. “Does it really matter? Our client’s filthy rich—he’ll pay us tons if we do the job right. I’ll treat you all to yakiniku after this.”

Shinpachi couldn’t help remembering the last time Gintoki had promised yakiniku for dinner—they’d gotten stuck in an elevator, and the situation had somehow involved bananas and sex toys. He quickly shook the unpleasant thoughts out of his head.

A couple minutes passed.

“How much longer, Gin-san?”

“Just shut up and keep moving.”

Shinpachi sighed. They’d been walking through this forest for what felt like hours, the summer heat beating down upon them relentlessly. He glanced over at Kagura, knowing this hot weather was especially hard on her. Despite the purple umbrella shading her and the pink sun hat on her head, she still looked a little dazed.

He wished he’d brought along his official Otsu-chan headphones to pass the time. They were hot pink, with big silver stars on each side. Inscribed in them was the word “Necromancer!” He wanted to listen to Otsu’s latest single, whose entire title and lyrics would be censored if it ever aired on television.

“Gin-san, why didn’t we just call a taxi?” Shinpachi asked.

Gintoki finally snapped. “I’m sorry, okay? We don’t have enough money to pay for a taxi these days! Besides, the staff doesn’t even have enough budget to animate it!” The truth was that he’d pretty much lost his already meager life savings at the pachinko parlor, but he didn’t need his kids to think worse of him than they already did.

“What staff?!” Shinpachi yelled. “This is a serious fanfiction, not an anime episode! Don’t go breaking the fourth wall like that!”

“But Shinpachi,” Kagura chimed in, “Didn’t you just break the fourth wall yourself, mentioning that this is a fanfic?”

Shinpachi winced. “That’s because—”

“And doesn’t being aware that a fourth wall exists pretty much mean the same thing as breaking it?” Gintoki added.

“That’s right,” Kagura said, nodding expertly.

“That’s why you’ll always be Shinpachi and not Shinichi.”

“Know your place, tsukkomi chara!”

Shinpachi threw up his hands in frustration. “All right, all right!” he wailed. “Forget I said anything in the first place!”

They trudged on in silence, with Shinpachi carrying most of their bags as penalty for apparently instigating the breakage of the fourth wall. No matter how much they walked, all the trees surrounding them looked the same. The sun was only becoming fiercer as each minute passed, and they were running low on water bottles. Right when Shinpachi was about to suggest that they had, perhaps, taken a wrong turn at some point, a huge clearing opened up in front of them.

In the middle of the clearing stood a huge Victorian mansion, which was absurd considering that they were in Edo. Shinpachi’s first guess was that this job, which Gintoki _still_ hadn’t properly explained, would inevitably involve Amanto. In this day and age, it wasn’t possible to avoid them for long. It was surrounded by beautifully cut bushes and various kinds of flowers. Tall trees carved out a path leading to the mansion’s front steps.

The door opened, and a man stepped out. He wore clothes that were as white as the mansion’s exterior and carried himself regally in much the same manner. He looked to be middle-aged, perhaps a little over fifty.

As the man approached them in slow, deliberate steps, Shinpachi paled. He felt Gintoki stiffen beside him, but Kagura seemed only mildly surprised. Either that or she was just too tired from the sunlight to care.

“Gin-san,” Shinpachi hissed. “I thought you said you met the client this morning!”

“I met a representative of our client,” Gintoki hissed back. “He told me he was a retainer for a wealthy family. But he never mentioned that the family name was—”

Gintoki broke off as Sasaki Isaburo finally stood in front of them, his daunting figure casting a shadow over them. He smiled, a slight quirk at the corner of his mouth that was not entirely pleasant. His monocle produced a blinding glare in the sunlight.

“Welcome, gentlemen,” Isaburo said. “And young lady,” he added, dipping his head towards Kagura politely. “Thank you all for coming. Now, if you’ll all come inside, I have an important request for the Yorozuya.”

Before any of them could respond, they were practically dragged into the mansion by Mimawarigumi officers, with Gintoki shouting incoherent protests the entire way.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah this was definitely written way too long ago. I miss Isaburo so much. ;~;


End file.
